I desired to be ever faithful to Jesus. I would rather die than break this promise. I had aspired zealously to become a saint. I felt that burning desire after reading the autobiography of St. Little Teresa of Lisieux. I have love towards everyone. It is impossible for me to hate anyone. My only desire is to love my Lord to perfection. My Jesus is sufficient for me. I don’t want anything else. How great is the joy experienced when everything is offered in the Sacred Heart of Jesus! It is my strong faith that nothing shall ever happen to me without the knowledge of my Jesus. I have completely abandoned myself to Jesus. Let Him do with me what He wills. God in His infinite goodness has granted me the strength to preserve inviolate the sanctifying grace I obtained at my baptism. I would rather die than commit consciously even a trivial venial sin and offend God thereby. Humility is the queen of all virtues. I consider all occasions to humble myself as a great fortune. Smile is a wick of light. I shall gaze upon gloomy faces and smile graciously to them. It is the ‘Woman beneath the Cross’ who held me steadfast in my love to my Spouse in times of severe pain and tribulations. Let us keep sealed our Aromatic Phial of Virtues. Jesus alone need know everything. Whenever I make a mistake, no matter how trivial it is, I shall do some acts of penance. This is the easiest way to stop repeating the mistake. It is in giving away; not in receiving that I find joy. I shall flee from those who flatter. How sweet it is to my tongue, to utter the Holy Name of Jesus! The only thing I wish for in this life is to bear suffering for the sake of God’s love and to rejoice in it.  I am fully convinced that the worldly pleasures are not for me. Jesus shows us His love, by giving us crosses. He sends crosses and sorrows only to those whom He loves. As for me, suffering is delightful. I consider that day when I don’t have the chance to suffer, as a day which is lost. Whatever my superiors decide for me, I count it as God’s Will for me. I shall never complain, whatever be the miseries that might befall me. Was it not aloft a cross that my Spouse did die? I too must die upon a cross of sufferings. I have a loving Mother in Heaven.  My eyes well up with joy when speaking about that Mother. The Lord who gives the bitter concoction will serve the sweetening sugar too.  I am a daughter of suffering. It is with stones of suffering and sacrifice that we build mansions for us in heaven. How sweet it is to leave ourselves to be judged either in good or bad! I have offered myself as a holocaust of love and suffering to my Divine Spouse. I should gain more crosses for the consummation of my life. I should drink to the dregs the chalice of suffering given by the Lord. My only work is to suffer. He gives to me everything only after having weighed and measured them. It seems to me that the Lord keeps vigil on me in order to purify me like silver. When the grains of wheat are crushed and ground, wheat flour is obtained.  We bake it to form the host for the Holy Eucharist.  Similarly we too should be crushed in the mill of suffering and transformed to become like hosts. The grapes are crushed in the wine press to get juice. When we preserve and purify this juice, it becomes inebriating wine.  Even so, we mature into spiritual fortitude when purified through miseries and sufferings. The riches of my Spouse are poverty, ignominy and humiliations. Even I too have got it.  I am a smart girl. In a sense, it is good that I have no proper sleep at night. I can recite the prayer of love with diligence. I have been fortunate in becoming a perfect religious sister. More than that God has given me the special grace to suffer with Jesus. What else more should I aspire for? Never for once has my good God declined me a favor whatever it is that I did solicit.  I have immolated myself totally on the sacrificial altar of love, so that others may not understand   my likes and dislikes. Sometimes I have felt like complaining. But I have never succumbed to that. I do not lose my peace of mind in times of grief and suffering. Whenever I get time, I should pay visits to the Most Holy Sacrament. My beloved Lord is dwelling within my heart. Nobody can take Him away from there. I should be careful not to retort to anyone.  If possible, I will speak sweetly with them. Even if I am unjustly accused of some faults, I will admit them without justifying myself and apologize, “I am sorry, excuse me.” Lord, do with me as if I am your own. I should pray to bless me with more sufferings. In one sense everyone is alike; there is no difference. But during times of hardships and sufferings, the good is distinguished from the other. No one need know about me. I am none other than a mean worm. God discloses the secrets of His heart to those who are with Him. Consider me insignificant like the smallest atom that is present in the atmosphere. My spirit abides in peace, as, since seven years I am no longer mine. I have sacrificed my whole being as an oblation of love to my Divine Spouse. If there is any good in me and if God wills others to know of it, it will be known by itself.  Words cannot communicate the ineffable joy of the success of forgiving. If we hurt the feelings of others, the seriousness of our sin is proportionate to the intensity of the pain it has inflicted on the victim. See only the good of others. Speak only well.  Ignore their frailties. Weigh each word in the Love Balance of Jesus before speaking. I don’t wish to be healed. I wish everything to be according to the Will of my Lord. The food I relish most is the Holy Eucharist. Just like an eagle snatches away the chicken, I too will be snatched away by my Lord. My Divine Bridegroom will call me at the consummation of my sacrifice.

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